Friday 3 October 2014


Yesterday, I was cycling in a hurry to work. When I was arriving to that section of “San Miguel” street where bikes are allowed to circulate (you know, the one where there is a petrol station) there was a double-parked car on the curve. There was very little room left and this was alternatively used by vehicles moving precisely in the opposite direction: cars and bikes coming alongside other traffic into “Plaza de los Patines”. There was absolutely no room for vehicles moving into the Avenue.

Luckily, there was a friendly local policeman, sat on his motorbike, uniformed and presumably on duty. I then approached the officer to ask him if he could gently talk to the owner of the car, so as he moved away.

- Whaaaat? Don’t you want that car to be parked thereeeeee? Come on! It is just a double-parked caaar! Don’t FFF.... anymore!

If I had driven my bike on the sidewalk at that moment, the same policeman would have fined me fifty euros. However, a double-parked car, blocking the way and causing a jam had was not important.

I got off the bike and walked for a while, with a terrible sense of helplessness. I would have liked that one of those comic heroes had reminded the officer the importance of the law and order the police is supposed to protect.

Suddenly, I pictured a cyclist descending from heaven, wearing a biker suit and a yellow cape, as if he had just won the “Tour de France”, armed with a yellow paper truncheon matching his suit and his cape. Xosé Troitiño, “O Xusticieiro de Lourizán”, also known as “The Tough Cyclist”, beating the policeman with his yellow paper truncheon, his “yellow oncle”, as a German would have said (“der gelbe Onkel”).

Zip! Zap! Here you are! This is a present for your good behaviour! – The tough cyclist said.

And, with these words, Xosé Troitiño punched the officer, catapulting him directly into the “thinking chair”. The one that English teachers use, when they want a kid to stop doing mischief.

- Have you understood the reason why you have been sat here? Do you feel prepared to go back and sit with the others?

I felt an enormous and immediate relief when I thought of such fatherly protection. And I quickly began to expand the framework of possible situations in which the tough cyclist could help: someone has stolen an old lady’s handbag; someone has been run over and the driver fled the scene; there is a pig who has urinated in the entrance hall of your house; a boss who is totally unbearable. Xosé Troitiño can help everyone.

And thus, feeling protected by the new Majorcan hero, I went on my way, with the inner peace of those who trust in justice.


Copyright Luisa Fernández Baladrón

1 comment:

  1. Tell me where that cyclist is. We need some urgent help at work.