A PSEUDOSCIENTIFIC THINKING

 

 

Last week, an acquaintance of mine commented to a third person that the doctor would remove his cast in a few days.

Well, be prepared! –  Warned him the latter – Some years ago, my father has his arm immobilized, exactly the same as you. By the time his plaster was removed, his arm was grafted to his body and the doctor had to use a knife to get it off his trunk.

Such a reproductive capacity reminded me of “green fingers”, a terrifying story about a finger that my friend "Bettina Estévez" used to tell. The finger was cut and buried in a garden and, some days later, it was able to generate a hand.  

What a convenient method to modify one’s body! Imagine that you wake up half a meter higher only because you fell asleep wearing some high heeled shoes; or that someone puts a model’s photograph on their face and becomes absolutely beautiful... Or that someone gets the ability of running two hundred kilometers per hour sitting on the engine of a Ferrari... Or that one becomes a microscope-man by wearing double lenses for two hours. However, there is something which would be even more practical than all this: learning with the mere touch of a book. What a comfortable ability! Particularly for a generation which is used to make the least effort.

Back in the eighties, a friend of mine left me an article about a revolutionary idea: it sustained that learning through the contact with the skin was already possible. According to the author, the most effective way to learn was to read an issue paying real attention... and then lie down to sleep, putting what had been read on one’s forehead. My friend and I decided to test the effectivenes of the method and went to bed in the afternoon, after giving a good look to our biology lesson: “the muscular system”. I still remember that afternoon lesson quite well.

Of course, both my friend and I had to study the chapter by the traditional method when we woke up from the nap. In fact, no matter how many legends might people tell us, grafts are very usefull for apple trees, but not for human trunks.

 

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THE SISTER OF THE POOR

I was brought up by an amazing mother who made us believe that we had a reasonable financial situation at home. As I was a very little child she even convinced us that a dry plant in the kitchen gave candies when we closed our eyes. Thus, during my childhood I always had the feeling of having everything one could desire.

Times have changed a lot since then. Today, children ask for iPods rather than play football. Back in the 2009, while I was having dinner with some friends, two of them stressed that being part of the middle class in Spain required an income of, at least, three to four thousand euros per month. That was the first time I heard a barrier in figures between two classes. Unfortunately, I had the feeling that the average was too high. But what has definitely persuaded me of being less wealthy than what I had initially though has been the prayer of the poor. In recent times, the poor cite specific figures when they pray. Gone are the glory days when they said “feed me”. Nowadays they ask you for five or twenty euros.

Today morning I went to the supermarket. There were two nuns at the entrance, one at each side of it, dressed in his usual gray habit. One of them gave me a piece of paper while the other asked me to collaborate with them.

“Food campaign. We appreciate your generous contribution in steak, beef loin, various kinds of meat, frozen fish, ham, olive oil, coffe in natural grain”.

A quick glance at the flyer was enough to perveive my lack of belonging to the middle class. Beef loin, olive oil... Do you mean selected-grade lean beef? What about some mushrooms and a glass of Riojan wine? All this reminds me of a television programm conducted by “Anton Reixa”, where a skinny African, dressed in the typical Galician costume, claimed the fundamental right of every human being to eat seafood once a year.

I must confess my admiration for my mother, who was able to persuade us of the power of her lentils, beans and stews.

 

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