Friday 31 October 2014


Since the fateful day when I did not prepare the young learners’ lesson enough, the principal has been reminding me the incident and reproaching my behaviour once and again. First she gave me a long lecture in the classroom; after that, she sent me a rather negative report of a page and a half; then she commented out in loud voice that never before had she seen so many downsides in a teacher.

Yesterday, shortly before the class, I was reprooved for the fourth time. The children had not arrived yet and I had already opened my laptop and logged in. I heard a voice coming from the hallway. It was the sound of a slow-pronounced English without any genuine accent and a trembling “zzz”.

-          Geeeeeehhhhh – cracked the door - Louiiiiiiiiiizzzzze! Do you also teach German? Zzzzzzz?

For a moment, I thought she wanted to suggest me a new challenge.

-          Yes, you obviously do. Because sometimes YOU MIX both languages. Zzzzz. You are probably too tired... Tiiiiiiired... You are teaching too many lessons, aren’t you? Zzzzz? Yes, this is obvious: one can see it in your face. You look soooo stressed and unhealthy. You look unhealthy and sickly. You should be careful. Otherwise, you will get ill.

Two cold eyes fixed their glance on the victim, while the “zzz sounds were trying to put the consciousness to sleep.

-          You are ugly... uuuuuggggglyyyy. You are too tired... tiiiiired. Sleep, sleeeep. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Haaaaa, ha, ha, ha!

Behind that darned old face, patched by the inexperienced knife of a plastic surgeon and those flabby arms, showing the true age of their owner, I could hear the metallic voice of the immortal money. She approached, making a schrill while she walked. A shrilling walk which would frighten children.

-          Geeeeehhh – Uuuuuuggggglyyy. Uuuuugggglyyy.

At that moment, I saw a tentacle coming out from her right eye. It was not the hook of Doctor Octopus, but the palp of Piedniaze, who is displeased by the presence of old and ugly. In fact, Piedniadze only eats the fresh meat of young and children, the energy of hard-working employees and the beauty of virgin maids. He is the one who causes wars in the middle east to sell the weapons that he manufactures. He causes abortions in Rwanda to gather hyaluronic acid and smooth his wrinkles.

I saw him getting closer and, instinctively, I walked backwards. But I got caught between Piedniadze and the wall. I felt fear, horror and then anger. He continued going forward until I had no way out. I thought of the children that were about to enter the school. They had to be prevented. We had to look for help. My heart beated. I warned him not to step further...

But it was too late. Piedniadze had already taken the last and final step forward, anticipating Halloween's night. I was dead.

-          Help! Tough cyclist! Help us, please!

Copyright Luisa Fernández Baladrón

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